You are enough! Recognize and embrace the reality that in Christ, you are enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have tremendous value. God calls you His son or daughter. The value of a thing is measured by how much people are willing to pay for it. Jesus gave His life for you, that defines your value as a son or daughter of God. Recognize, own and celebrate your personal value.
What you do with your season of singleness is your choice.
You can spend your time sulking and feeling sorry for yourself or you can change the world! Jesus, Paul, Daniel and others, lived their entire lives as single men and they changed the world. The least you can do is to accept the challenge to make your world more interesting. Do something you’ve never done before. Take a class, read, travel, volunteer to help others. The worst that can happen is that you’ll become an even more interesting person and impact more people.
You are complete.
Don’t let the media, society and/or your married friends make you feel like you are incomplete without a mate. That is co-dependency! You are complete in Christ. You are a person of strength, dignity and grace. You are a whole single. Whole singles are men and women of tremendous worth who value themselves, own their personal value and are confident in themselves and their God. Whole singles are people who live interesting lives; lives that are free from self-pity, regret, desperation, depression and low self-esteem.
Make friendships with and learn from people of the opposite sex.
There are valuable lessons we can learn from each other that have nothing to do with romance and marriage. Relax and connect! Men have a lot to teach women and women have a lot to teach men.
Dwelling on what we don’t have develops an obsession.
It’s a waste of precious time and energy to obsess over being single. This is an exciting time in your life. Determine to take your eyes off yourself, and to act on purpose and with intentionality to impact your world and transform the lives of people in your sphere of influence. God wants you to live a life of purpose, passion and power. God is at work in your life and all around you. Join Him!
Your God is a big God and His world is an abundant place
Believe that God will do for you exceeding abundantly above all that you could ever ask, think or imagine in every area of life. Refuse to settle for less than God’s best or for a life that is beneath your inheritance, as a child of God. Say no to the status quo and refuse to fit into the categories defined by people, when those parameters do not line up with the word of God. Believe that you can, and you will.
Don’t isolate yourself.
We isolate ourselves because we don’t want to risk being hurt by others. Yet, no good thing comes without a risk. Get out there and connect with others. This is your time to explore, know yourself and confirm who you are, your values, what is important to you, your self-definition, what you want in a relationship, and so on. This process of self-discovery, self-knowledge and acceptance is critical to personal well-being and is indispensable in relationship formation. Don’t wait, start today.
Don’t expect someone to come along and rescue you.
The knight in shining armor is the stuff of fairy tales. As an adult, it is your responsibility to tend to your own life. It would be unfair to expect your future spouse to come into your life and rescue you. So, don’t put your life on hold! See a financial counselor now. Go back to school now. Fix up your home now. Do what it takes to bring satisfaction to your life without depending on someone else to do it for you. Remember, Jesus and only Jesus is your Savior!
Establish your own traditions.
Whether it’s a Saturday morning run/walk/ride in the park or a yearly retreat /cruise or time spent volunteering for your favorite charity during a holiday, it’s important to establish your own traditions. Single parents have a wonderful opportunity to create new memories that will last a lifetime. Be creative. Get started today!
Pray for and support your married friends.
The grass always seems greener on the other side, but it rarely is. It is an unfortunate fact that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. And of those that stay together, many couples are silently languishing in hostile situations full of stress and strife. Some married people are lonelier than they appear. Our married friends need our prayers and support. Think of ways to bless your married friends. Devote a time to pray for them privately. Surprise a married couple with a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. Offer to watch the kids for a couple of hours. Remember Galatians 6:7, you reap what you sow.
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