Valentine’s Day! The day that reminds you that you are STILL single!!! You try not to think about it, and rather, focus on your work, hoping to forget. But no! Your co-worker in the next cubicle gets a special delivery – flowers from her boyfriend. Then your girlfriend from church texts you a photo of the beautiful bouquet of flowers and chocolate she received from the guy she just started dating. And yet another friend sends you a photo of a romantic arrangement her fiancée sent to her, including a coffee mug with the inscription, “To the future Mrs. Davis”.
You are happy for them, really. You smile and text them back with an “aww”, “how romantic!” “He is a keeper”, or various other expressions of support, and you really mean it. But secretly, you wish you had someone in your life to send you flowers and make you feel special too.
You are a guy, but you can’t forget either! You are trying to have a peaceful lunch in the cafeteria, but the guys at your table are talking about their plans for the evening with the special women in their lives, and you have no one! Now they are asking your opinion about their plans, and you’d rather just be left alone.
You are not an envious person by nature, and you wish your friends and co-workers well, but you can’t help feeling a twinge of envy. You don’t resent them having these relationships in their lives, in fact, you are happy for them, but you wish you had one too. You don’t mean to be envious, but soon, you are struggling with feelings of loneliness, longing, discontentment and resentment. You know you shouldn’t feel that way. You know that envy is not the Christian thing to do, but you don’t know what to do.
Well, here is your three point approach to address Valentine’s Day envy:
- God is Working: Thank God that He is working in the lives of the people around you. Remember when you and your friends were all single and believing God for the right person to come into your lives. Some of your friends were really in a bad place and you had prayed and counseled them not to give up. You told them to trust God, and that He would bring the right person into their lives. Today, as you read their texts, remember that they are really testimonials to God’s answer to your prayer. So, instead of getting sad and envious, choose to thank God that He does answer your prayers. These texts tell you that God is alive, and He is working in the lives of people around you.
- S/he is NOT Marrying Your Spouse: You can rejoice with your friends and co-workers because you can be sure of one thing, they are NOT dating or marrying your spouse! Your spouse is for you. Psalm 16:5(b) says that God with guard all that is yours. So, you can relax! For you, it is really just about timing, and your envy is nothing but resentment that their relationship status changed before yours. But since they are dating or marrying their man or woman, and NOT yours, they are not taking anything away from you. You can rest in the confidence that God sees you and has the right person, at the right time, for you.
- You Are Next! I know that not everyone is looking for a romantic relationship, but if you are believing God for one, after sending the reply texts or giving advice to your friends and co-workers, you should say to yourself, “I’m Next”. Think about it, if three or more of your friends have moved off of the “waiting line” for new relationships, well, then, you have moved up. Maybe you smiled at that, but you get the point.
Bottom Line: If you have a strong, sustained desire to get married, then I believe that God put it there. If God put the desire in you, then He has a person for you; you just need to trust Him. If you rush ahead of God and dash into a relationship, just to “have someone”, you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Even worse, you could succeed in birthing “an Ishmael”. Genesis 16 tells the story of how Sarah and Abraham tried to fenagle their way and manufacture their miracle. God promised them a son, but the promised son did not come quick enough to suit Sarah and Abraham, so they decided to “help God out”. At Sarah’s suggestion, Abraham slept with Sarah’s maid, Hagar, and she conceived and gave birth to a son – Ishmael. God did eventually keep His promise and they did have the son, Isaac, that God promised. But the birth of Ishmael, the progenitor of the Arab nations; plunged first Abraham’s family; and later, the whole world into turmoil. The impact of that decision is still plaguing the world today.
Don’t Get Envious, Get Ready! Believe that God has heard your prayers. Believe that God is working in your life, and partner with Him to bring His plan and purpose to pass. How do you do that? 1) By investing in your own wholeness. Get ready for your new relationship by becoming the best version of yourself, you can be; 2) By calling forth the future relationship you want. Here is a proclamation that you can speak over yourself.
Father, I thank you for giving me the desire to be married. I know that every good and perfect gift comes from you. I know that you have already prepared a godly spouse for me. I declare that he/she is a good and perfect gift. I call him/her forth into my life. I thank you Lord that you have ordered our steps and stops to bring us together. I proclaim that you have removed every obstacle, hindrance, delay or impediment. You will help us to recognize each other in the spirit. I know that you have provided the wisdom, grace, and courage for us to initiate our relationship. I receive it now in Jesus name.
I bless our courtship, and pray that we will both honor you in our dating relationship. I declare that our family members will love and accept us, and each other. I declare that we will see each other through your eyes and bring out the best in one another. I proclaim that our marriage and home will be a beautiful illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church. The husband will love his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife will honor and submit to her husband. In Jesus’s name, I reject, uproot and remove from my life any agent of the devil, sent to take advantage of, distract, destabilize or deceive me – Amen (Ephesians 5:22-25).
You cannot do better for yourself than God can do for you! God is working!
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!